Dark Night Singing

Closed up the shop

Headed out the door

One thing I knew for sure

It would be a long drive

Dark night singing.


Watched the sunset fade

Into a star filled sky

Didn’t know why

The tears weren’t forming

Dark night singing.


Opened up the window

Just to cool my face

Imaginary embrace

One last moment

Dark night singing.


And though it’s all over

My mind goes round and round

Upside-down over you

And love fades into darkness

As I round one more bend

On a road to nowhere

Or so it seems to me

Dark night singing.


Then it occurs to me

The rumbling road beneath

Becomes a melody

My soul can parody

Dark night singing…


And the words begin to flow.


And though it’s all over

My mind goes round and round

Upside-down over you

And love fades into darkness

As I round one more bend

On a road to nowhere

Or so it seems to me

Dark night singing.

           D. Wittler

Untie the Knot, You Fool

I found the words
And heard the tune
In streaming legal terms
Justice is not blind
It sees beyond the womb
Knows our secrets
Displays the doom
Of mortal combat
In a court room.

Through blood stained eyes
I saw the cross
It held me up
Carried me home
To a silent space
All alone...
Where misery resides
And blind men find
A rope to bind
Tying knots to size
Hoping to unleash the gloom.

A hundred million years
Will find no trace of us
We spent out time
Turned to dust
A pitiful race
But there is redemption
So, untie the knot you fool
And bury the old
Seek the new
In time all wounds heal
And truth lives once again.

D. Wittler 5/13

What can I say about this one? I came across Pink Floyd's "Final Cut" and it struck a chord in me. In spite of all that has happened over the last sixth months in my life, I find something to write about that might resemble poetry. What a treasure to behold!

Monday Monologue

A follow up piece to my last entry. I'm thinking about doing a series on this theme. Your thoughts are appreciated. So, here goes...

Monday Monologue



Monday, May sixth, 2013
Back to where my married life began
Now, only memories
The fountain I once thought
Would never stop
Has gone silent

The books I used to surround myself with
Speak volumes of past lives’
As if I had died
And been reborn a stranger.


First Methodist tolls the six o’clock hour
While “Peace is Flowing Like a River”
Calls from Sunday morning.
My neck aches from sleeping hard
Unknowing of what tomorrow brings.


Life has become a maelstrom
Drawing everything within sight
Downward
Like a giant drain after a hot bath
While a once close friend sparks anew
Hope in the written word.
You are my hero.

Empty Chair Monologue

I met up with some old friends on Sunday and we sat and visited for a while. After all of the drama that has been going on in my life lately, it was great to just catch up, share and have a few good laughs. I often wonder why things happen as they do, but from what I have been reading lately, nothing in life is unplanned or without purpose; the only unfixed variable is our response, otherwise known as "choice." We can either wallow in the mire of the moment, or we can raise it up as an opportunity to make it more. Like the servants who were charged with protecting the masters talents, we can bury them for safe keeping and only give back what we received, or we can invest a little time, effort and skill to produce more of a good thing than what we started with. I took this thought to heart last night as I was preparing for bed. I decided to take the drama of the past and to transform it into something more. The following is the result of a conversation with friends and means for healing. Thank you William Faulkner and William Shakespeare.




Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow,

Creeps in this petty pace from day to day

To the last syllable of recorded time,

And all our yesterdays have lighted fools

The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player

That struts and frets his hour upon the stage

And then is heard no more: it is a tale

Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,

Signifying nothing.

“Macbeth” William Shakespeare

Midnight driving

Gentle tolling

Wesley United Methodist

Fading into nothingness

Pulling away from old memories

Reminiscences of bygone days

Sound and fury raises

In my mind a cacophonous roar.

Empty chair monologue

Solace in darkness

Drama plays raw emotion

Man-tears of utter desolation

Like nuclear winter

Destroying all hope

No resolution

No consolation.

Fearful imaginations

Accusatory language

Cross examinations

Peering out from roadside shadows

Like deer caught in headlamps glow

Red eyed and paralyzed like foe

Before the shot gun blast

I am no hero.

                                 -D.A. Wittler

Back to Life

I wanted to share an experience I had last night. It goes to show the power of dreams and perhaps how God speaks to us in mysterious ways. Dream on and believe!

I remember that day in November
Before the snow began to fall
Hit me like a cannon ball
She said it was over
There was no turning back.

Now I’m searching
Trying to find what’s left
Of my heart
Because this whole process
Has left it cold and dead
in my chest.

But today is April
and spring has found me
Like the trees outside,
Budding back to life.

Back to life
Like my Savior
Emerging from a tomb at Easter
With wings from heaven
Some day I hope to fly again
On the wind of God’s own breathe
But until that time,
I’m slowly coming back to life.

Snow came in December
Chilled me to the bone
Not a dime in my pocket
Because the bills,
like drifts kept piling
And she kept screaming
“It’s all your fault I’m dealing,
with this heavy load alone.”

And now it’s four in the morning;
Can’t sleep from all the dreaming
Of days gone by.
Left me cold as a stone
Buried in the ground.
But now I’m just plain tired
In need of a way back home,
Away from this dying.
So I’m praying
Slowly coming back to life.

Back to life
Like my Savior
Emerging from a tomb at Easter
With wings from heaven
Some day I hope to fly again
On the wind of God’s own breathe
But until that time,
I’m slowly coming back to life…

Slowly coming back to life
Coming back to life
Back to life
To life
To life…
Life!
Amen.

- D.A. Wittler 4/16/2013

Witt's End

I first want to apologize for bringing my sob story to the world wide web, but I have nothing better to do today other than surf the web looking for the most painless ways to end my pathetic life. Secondly, I want to share what I learned from some body who told me the secret to getting through the day is to stop thinking about the darkness and to focus on serving others; something I already know, but sometimes hearing it from another person's point of view makes it easier to digest and process in your mind.

I just keep seeing how this damn divorce is dragging on and on and how deep down inside I cannot bring myself to hate my soon to be ex-wife. I have driven down the darkest country road at midnight daring myself to pull into the path of a telephone pole, but something inside screams in my ear "NO!" I hate these mini anxiety attacks that hit me from out of the blue, but they usually subside very quickly which tells me there is hope. Maybe if I keep up the whole writing thing and share this agony with you, there might be a second chance in it for all the others who are walking the same path as I am.

Finally, as this beautiful Spring day continues to flood into this room and adds light to the darkness inhabiting my brain, I can see tomorrow looming in the distance inviting me or daring me to find a reason to keep on going in spite of it all. Well, I guess I can accept that for now and it sure beats reserching gun shows. I would never want to pass this darkness bug on to anyone else beacause it really is a nasty contagion, so I guess I'll give you the free version of the vaccine that helps keep the darkness at bay; they call it faith, hope and love and the greatest of these is love. Christ spoke these words over two thousand years ago as he was plauged by visions of a horrible death on a cross. If that is not enough for a person to be encouraged to walk away from darkness, then I know of no greater way to finding happiness. Thank you for sharing my space today, you just may have saved a life. And so for today, this is not the end. God bless. -Witt

Worth The Weight?

I wonder tonight about a few things that may seem trivial to some, intriguing to others and a waste of time to those too caught up in their own little cocoon of a world to care. I wonder why the whole process of divorce has to push you to the point of hating someone you once loved intensely and whole heartedly. I cannot imagine how it solves anything to condemn a man when he is down and then torment him about money when he has nothing left but the clothes on his back and an automobile. I wonder if it is worth the weight on my mind to consider ending a life so full of promise, yet fraught with failure. God help me sort through this mess of a life; even as I contemplate a long drive home tonight screaming at an empty car seat  and imagining who might be there causing me to do so. It makes my life seem even more pathetic; yet faith says that things happen for a reason.

Is there really a plan for us or are we just random bits of coded DNA attached to an orb orbiting a sun that  happens to be precisely positioned to support life? Does the atheist care if all this randomness leads to theories that explain so diverse an array of life all evolving from a single cosmic event? And like that ultimate question that arises from a story of survival about a boy and a Bengal tiger: Which do you prefer, the pitiful account of humans behaving badly on the open sea, or that God lets us decide a few things and then presents a challenge for us to figure it all out on our own? The weight on my mind certainly makes me wonder if the wait for answers is really worth the time of day. Decide for yourself if any of this makes sense as I doubt any person will even read this blog.