The Process of Grief

Grief is a process well documented in text books, and psychological journals. But as for me the best process is a creative one where the end result is something tangible to the eye, or pleasant to the ear. And so is my humble offering today for those who grieve.

Void of Silence

And then there was nothing
Where once there was music
Yet memories are kind
They keep me sane
When fear comes again
Life goes on
In Monday morning strain
As I rise in a darkened room
No light
Only a presence
A shadow of doubt
In a heart reaching out
Through a void of silence.

Is it an angel
Or just a dream
Comforts me
With her wings
Prayerful longings
Beside a stream
Busy days
Lonesome nights
Can't steal her away
Though a void of silence grows
The further I go
Down a snow covered road
without you.

Peace
It is inevitable
I draw from a gathering
Tapping keys, and a choir sings
To comfort me
But love,
The long journey home
Travels alongside
Whispering
“You are not alone
Within this void of silence.”

D.A. Wittler 1/18

A Few Thoughts At 6 A.M.

When you get a call, and your kid is hurting so much, but found the courage to share it with you, that's when you are grateful to be a dad. When his voice barely breaks, and he tells the story of how he lost the best friend he has ever had, that's when you know for sure that you did something right in his life. But even more so, when you know this extremely sorrowful moment in this life will fuel his resolve, build him up to face many more challenges in his life, that's when you know he has grown so much, and you don't have to worry any more that he's going to make it.
So this is what I do at 6 A.M. I write, I pray, and  I put my faith on the path in front of me to ease the way, if only till the next time.
For you Son.

If I Had Words

If I had words for you
They would attempt to comfort
But they could not erase your pain
Or replace your sense of loss.

If I had words for you
They would conjure memories
But they could not forge new ones
As you had only just begun to dream.

If I had words for you
They would not be needed
Or spoken
But felt so deep
You could hear them
Or read them
In tears streaming down my face.

D.A. Wittler 1/18

Intangible Meanings

Since I didn't get Christmas cards out this year, please accept this offering. And yes, I hope one particular person is creeping around to see what Santa is bringing.

Call It A Gift

We speak of gifts this time of year
We spend our time in holiday cheer
With loved ones far, and near
But we must go deeper still
To discover what lay hidden there
Beneath wrappings we place with care.

To have a talent for
Or be available whenever
Are true hidden treasures
We seldom think of for each other
Yet we can use them, and give them
As any precious item placed before a tree
Like a life upon an altar in sacrifice.

And now I ask myself
Can this be my gift
To someone like you
And you be mine
Things intangible
Like trust in higher things
Of love, respect, and dignity?
Yes we can
So we shall
Appreciate these hidden meanings
Within this Christmas season
Tis more than we envision
Bright as any star amidst the heavens.

D.A. Wittler 17’

Call It Catharsis

Call it catharsis, or finally accepting responsibility as we all must for our actions. When a marriage ends you don't stop to think about the consequences, only how awful you feel inside, and the anger that is in reality a hurt so deep it is beyond description. And so I share the final act of my stupidity that led me here today. It came about as I read an article on how  people know when their marriage is over. Please bare with me. Thank you.

How about when you are in church with your family, and you look over, and see that she isn't wearing her wedding ring. You beg yourself afterwards to ask her, afraid of the answer, and she says "I haven't been wearing it for a while." Reality doesn't set in until you ask yourself: "Was this a hint, or a test to see how long it would take until I noticed it was truly over?" And what did I do next? I did the meanest thing I could think of to express my hurt feelings; I sold my wedding band. Today I think to myself, "How despicable of me to be so cruel, especially when I told her what I had done, and how crushed I knew she felt." Then I knew it wasn't a test at all, it was about noticing who she was, and caring enough to be the man she needed me to be, and who I wasn't.

Merciful Distraction

I apologise for the late hour, but I was at work, and this came to me. I was thinking about the movie Patch Adams with Robin Williams where he has lost the love of his life, and is on the edge of jumping off a cliff when a butterfly lands in front of him. I hope you like it.
Merciful Distraction

Perhaps once in a lifetime
When we've labored so much
Someone comes along
A stranger from the rough
Bearing innocent conversation
A merciful distraction
To ease the rush of life's dispassion
That duty, and honor
Have not gone out of fashion
And when the tempest’s rage
Has given the worst it can deliver
We begin to recover
Some semblance of normal once again
If that was the reason
For our chance meeting
Then let it be as it was
A miracle of transformation
From grief to life once more.

D.A.Witter 17’

Let Us Give Thanks

Let us give thanks
To our fathers
Who gave us hands
for work
To our mothers
Who gave us hearts
for love
To God
Who gave us each a soul
for giving
and life eternal.

For callouses and crosses
Roses and kisses
Gifts and challenges
To help us grow
Cultivate and harvest
As the banquet of our labor
Now before us shows
We give our thanks.

For those who have passed
From this life
And those now present
We pray and hope
To share again and share alike
For food, for friends, for life
And those who serve
Let us give thanks.
In Jesus name we pray.
Amen

Life, A Comic Outrage

Behold a comic outrage! When all the world's a stage, and my life one long commentary on the absurdity, and stupidity of man. When a smirk creeps up upon my face in line at Wendy's, or in some public restroom listening to a splash. As I imagine Shakespeare, Whitman, Emerson, Thoreau, and Thurber having a pint while sitting on a passing cloud over head.
I wonder why it becomes necessary to obsess on the ordinary, or worry about the reasons why people take life so seriously, when laughter really is the best medicine, thanks to Norman Cousins' Anatomy Of An Illness; check out the movie if you will. It gives some honest reason to chuckle in the face of tragedy because we all end up the same in the end, dead.

Oh to take a moment to smile at the idiot who raises his arms in disbelief as he is the one who runs away a coward from the scene of a hit, and run. Who really pays for the damage done? It is only a vehicle, and our journey to work gets interrupted just a bit, so let the fool in the SUV live with himself as karma comes a calling when he can't just leave with his tail between his legs next time.
Smile, for your heart may be aching, but the choice is yours to find a glimpse of paradise in a fart joke delivered by Kevin Farley,  or that time you received a special unexpected gift at your family Christmas. Let Dad laugh until the joke is on him, and it's gone way too far over the top to stop.
And where to end when the reasons for living become a managery of one liners given by an aging George Burns to a worrisome John Denver sitting in the front seat of an American motors Pacer. Come on, was there ever a more ridiculous looking car ever made than that? Even Mike Meyers found it funny to give Wayne's World a boost alongside his besty Garth, and company who gave us a most memorable rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody.

Yes,  laugh, drink up my friend, and don't let the screen door hit you on the backside as you leave the room excercising your right to be happy any way you want it, because life is a  Divine Comedy in spite of Dante's thirst for explaining the fires of hell; even he would smile to hear Satan singing American Pie out of tune in a hail storm. God bless!