Today, as I consider plans that have been made for this weekend; the thoughts and words of Ralph Waldo Emerson come to mind. “When a man lives with God, his voice shall be as sweet as the murmur of the brook and the rustle of the corn.” This phrase comes from Emerson’s essay on Self Reliance written around 1841. I cannot help but relate to this as it is late July and the fields of northwest Ohio are green with the stalks of growing corn and low rows of soy beans. The wheat harvest has been gathered in for the most part and the bailing of hay has commenced. There is an anticipation of things to come and the present moment gives way to the lonesome mourning dove perched outside my window. It is the day of my birth and for now the concerns of the world seem a million miles away.
The scripture readings for today concern the Ten Commandments from Exodus and Jesus’ parable of The Sower from Matthew’s gospel. I wonder now on what ground am I? As I lie in bed earlier this morning, the image of a muddy field flashed across my mind and how my life has been much like a long rut stretching out across to the farthest horizon. There are still dreams to fulfill, chores to perform and children to raise. There have been days of great personal challenge, triumph and joy, but there have been moments of much uncertainty, sorrow and pain as well. As I wade deep into the pages that reveal my life history, I am reminded that like some stick in the mud, I have moved little towards the man God has planted in me. In the end, will I be judged for what I have done or what I have failed to do, for words spoken in anger or in actions spent in pure sacrifice for another? My hope is ever in the Lord, but my flesh speaks another tale fraught with weakness for the wonder lust that exists in the world.
As I sped off early this morning to the local BMV to have my driver’s license renewed, I thought how quickly four years had passed and the futility of finding work this past year. At the same time I savored one last kiss and a cool breeze pouring in from outside the car window. I think God would be happy to know I have grown to appreciate these small things and that I have tried my best to maintain a sense of personal integrity, though moments of despair have clouded my sight at times. In any case, I sit here needing and wanting to share my thoughts with you as the day progresses and there are, as Frost wrote, “Miles to go before I sleep.” I think it is fair to say we all progress from waste land to fertile soil on any given day, but the God who loves us will always lead the way if we keep our sights set on our better selves; especially when the world begs us to turn and succumb to its will that can lead us astray. God bless. Witt
