Elijah sat beside the broom tree and prayed for death as he felt he could take no more. In spite of conquering over four hundred prophets in an act of faith in a God of action; one tiny human female by the name of Jezebel dashed the hopes of a man destined to be one of the greatest prophets of all time. I sometimes feel this way when it seems like I have taken one step forward and two steps back in my life. Just when I think things are starting to get better, another set back crops up. The current state of the economy could be blamed as I am no closer to getting back to work than a month ago. I really wonder if I can trust the example my father set so many years ago when I was a kid. The idea that hard work and sacrifice will always provide a place to live, put food on the table and clothing on your back just does not seem to apply any more. I wonder if anything makes sense when contradiction after contradiction places my family in peril of financial ruin. Is there still hope in another direction?
Today, I start on a new venture of becoming my own boss. School has been put on hold and a home business opportunity waits; but there is apprehension in the air and a hint of buyer’s remorse. I know that these feelings must be squelched if this business is ever going to get off the ground. I guess the idea of including other people in this venture satisfies my desire to be helpful and serve the best interests of family. I know I’ll have to use the knowledge and skills learned over the span of my life to make it work, but I am still afraid of failure. What have I got to lose that is not in peril already? That is indeed the question as I place my trust in the sound of a friendly voice many miles away. What can this be that draws my attention and tempts the gambler inherent in us all?
As I figure it this morning, I have lived and loved and trusted so few outside the confines of my world; it is finally time to take a leap of faith. For a time at least I will have to drown out the tiny voice perched atop my shoulder and go forth into the unknown abyss. God knows I only want what is best for my family and to make a difference in an otherwise downtrodden and seemingly heartless human construct so prevalent today. Lord, in your infinite wisdom and love, have mercy on us all and make hope possible once again. Amen.
