Sorry for the late post my friends, I have not been myself of late and I grow more tired by the month. I'm just not sure if I can keep this up. I am not happy with this short cut style of on-line education that I have taken on through Grand Canyon University. No guarantees that a degree in English literature will bear fruit, but at least I acknowledged the gift God gave me and maybe that is all I needed to come to terms with in my life. I can say I am wanting to exit gracefully into that good night. If only it were that easy. The best and worst are yet to come, this I know for sure. And so my offering to the writing ghosts that haunt my soul tonight.... may they rest in peace until tomorrow.
Tonight finds this weary soul pushed to the brink of writing by caffeine. My life, so full yet is lacking. What does this mean? Like some impoverished monk I work and serve the causes of family life and the future of boys, all at the peril and sacrifice of the love of my life. When did things get so complicated? I am drowning in the fight to stay afloat and the desire to change the hearts and minds of those so conditioned to single mindedness. Why can’t they see the view from the mountain top like I envision in my heart’s desires? They choose to ignore or by force of habit look straight through me as if I never existed. Am I a renaissance man in modern times or just a soul prepared for the next great leap of faith? I would gladly welcome death today if at once I could take in the entire lineage of my faith and past lives. How I long for that mansion of many rooms in which my heavenly father resides. But alas, I have trails to trod, rivers to bridge and sons to raise, papers to write and some uncertain future to face. What great triumphs, challenges, trials and tribulations wait? Lord only knows my fate. Good night.
Tonight finds this weary soul pushed to the brink of writing by caffeine. My life, so full yet is lacking. What does this mean? Like some impoverished monk I work and serve the causes of family life and the future of boys, all at the peril and sacrifice of the love of my life. When did things get so complicated? I am drowning in the fight to stay afloat and the desire to change the hearts and minds of those so conditioned to single mindedness. Why can’t they see the view from the mountain top like I envision in my heart’s desires? They choose to ignore or by force of habit look straight through me as if I never existed. Am I a renaissance man in modern times or just a soul prepared for the next great leap of faith? I would gladly welcome death today if at once I could take in the entire lineage of my faith and past lives. How I long for that mansion of many rooms in which my heavenly father resides. But alas, I have trails to trod, rivers to bridge and sons to raise, papers to write and some uncertain future to face. What great triumphs, challenges, trials and tribulations wait? Lord only knows my fate. Good night.
