It's finally the last day of school for my boys so I thought I'd have a little fun. I've been filling out paperwork all week to go back to school myself so don't take my words too seriously. The following was just an exercise in trying to write lyrics for a song. No one has to take them serious, but sometimes there are those people who you would rather not listen to, especially if they like to use you as an ear to gnaw on. Life is too short to find fault everywhere you look. Like the Billy Joel song says, "So we can all enjoy the weekend for a change." (or words to that affect). Here comes the disclaimer: Please take into account the nature of the following as it pertains to no certain individuals either living or dead. It is intended for the soul purpose of entertaining the reader. Here's to all you psych majors out there!
All in Your Head
Every time I hear you complain
About the things in your brain
It’s all just words to me
And it drives me crazy
Knowing the truth
You’re so uncouth
Dragging me down
Why are you so lazy?
I have to wonder
My big blunder
Was listening to you
It’s all about you
In the middle of the night
I’m the only one in sight
But I think it’s
All in your head.
All in your head
Life’s so compelling
Why are you yelling?
About nothing at all
You’re driving me insane.
You got no cause for worry
Being in such a hurry
Just makes you a pain
In a place I’d rather not mention
Putting me in your shoes
I’d surely lose
So get away from me
Before it’s too late.
The world’s not so bad
Making you sad
Psychological mumbo jumbo
Is killing you
Calling your shrink
All that stuff in your sink
What good does it do?
When it’s all in your head.
All in your head
Life’s so compelling
Why are yelling?
About nothing at all
You’re driving me insane.
Now take this as a lesson
Why am I messin’
Saying anything at all
To a nut case like you
Take it all in stride
Have some pride
And chill for a while
It’s all in your head.
That’s right!
Friday, May 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
A Core of hope
I don’t have to remind people how tough things are right now. The economy reminds us every day how our savings dwindle and our pay checks shrivel as for many a forty hour work week has become thirty two or less. For me, like the other 16 plus percent of unemployed workers in my county, opportunities are few and far between as it takes more and more effort week to week just to keep looking. I have come to the conclusion that marketability is the key to opportunity and that is why I have decided to go back to school in search of the degree that has long eluded, tormented and tugged at my brain for nearly fifteen years. What has kept me going all this time is something I like to call ‘A core of hope.”
Not long ago I met with my spiritual director and discussed what hope feels like to me. The image I had is that of gold tested in fire. In 1 Peter: 3-9, this image came to life as she read the passage from the Bible. Deep inside I felt my life story spilling out from within like the tapping of a spiritual reserve I always knew was there but was unable to draw fully from. I have lacked the resolve on many occasions to realize that trials and sufferings are for purifying and refining my purpose in life and not purely for some demonic pleasure bent on tripping me up at every turn on the path. It is hard to describe, but I envision a block of ice slowly melting in the hot sun; the tears of a lifetime of self loathing and failure washing down into a great basin of despair and leaving behind a facade of vulnerability men do not like to talk about. It leaves us open to the fact that we are human and oh so fragile.
I often wonder what would have happened if I had not had to endure the trials in my life that have led me here today. Perhaps if I had overcome my in-most demons way back when then I would be far better off today both financially and spiritually. I know from experience that things don’t always go as planned, and in fact we rarely get to have it both ways. Funny how life works, struggles come and go but do not bare fruit until we are capable of dealing with them. It is like trying to plant a garden without any tools; until we have acquired them the job becomes an exercise in futility. I guess I have had to acquire the tools necessary through life experience rather than by completing a bachelor’s degree and going to work in a profession.
What I know today is reflected in the Harry Potter books where professor Dumbledore counsels Harry with the catch words “eternal vigilance” for there is a dark lord in all of us just waiting to reveal himself when we least expect it. It is our core of hope that keeps us on the straight and narrow path and teaches the lesson of suffering as a way to salvation. Just as a wound bleeds, so the pain warns us of the threat of further injury if we do not bind it up.
“In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith- being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Although you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy, for you are receiving the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” 1 PET: 3-9 NAB.
Not long ago I met with my spiritual director and discussed what hope feels like to me. The image I had is that of gold tested in fire. In 1 Peter: 3-9, this image came to life as she read the passage from the Bible. Deep inside I felt my life story spilling out from within like the tapping of a spiritual reserve I always knew was there but was unable to draw fully from. I have lacked the resolve on many occasions to realize that trials and sufferings are for purifying and refining my purpose in life and not purely for some demonic pleasure bent on tripping me up at every turn on the path. It is hard to describe, but I envision a block of ice slowly melting in the hot sun; the tears of a lifetime of self loathing and failure washing down into a great basin of despair and leaving behind a facade of vulnerability men do not like to talk about. It leaves us open to the fact that we are human and oh so fragile.
I often wonder what would have happened if I had not had to endure the trials in my life that have led me here today. Perhaps if I had overcome my in-most demons way back when then I would be far better off today both financially and spiritually. I know from experience that things don’t always go as planned, and in fact we rarely get to have it both ways. Funny how life works, struggles come and go but do not bare fruit until we are capable of dealing with them. It is like trying to plant a garden without any tools; until we have acquired them the job becomes an exercise in futility. I guess I have had to acquire the tools necessary through life experience rather than by completing a bachelor’s degree and going to work in a profession.
What I know today is reflected in the Harry Potter books where professor Dumbledore counsels Harry with the catch words “eternal vigilance” for there is a dark lord in all of us just waiting to reveal himself when we least expect it. It is our core of hope that keeps us on the straight and narrow path and teaches the lesson of suffering as a way to salvation. Just as a wound bleeds, so the pain warns us of the threat of further injury if we do not bind it up.
“In this you rejoice, even if now for a little while you have to suffer various trials, so that the genuineness of your faith- being more precious than gold that, though perishable, is tested by fire- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Although you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and rejoice with an indescribable and glorious joy, for you are receiving the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.” 1 PET: 3-9 NAB.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Life's Little Ironies
Old Scouters Never Die
Tune and lyrics: based on the old army song;
“Old Soldiers Never Die”- Unknown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQLd18y0X70
Old Scouters never die
They just get carried away.
There is a cooking fire, not far away
Where we get dutch oven fare, three times a day
Beefsteak they never see, hidden without lock or key
And we just get carried away.
Old scouters never die
Never die, never die
Old scouters never die
They just get carried away.
Cub Scouts they love to cheer, most every day
Boy Scouts they love to hike, that’s what they say
Scout masters get a thrill; lead their boys up the hill
So we must get our thrills until they carry us away.
Baden Powell, what would he say?
New Eagle Scouts every day
When the dusty trail comes to an end
They’ll just fly us away.
Old scouters never die
Never die, never die
Old scouters never die
They just carry them away.
I remember watching the Film "MacArthur" with Gregory Peck some years ago and reading the book "Reminiscences" the autobiography of General Douglas MacArthur. There is a line from the book that quotes an old barracks ballad from WWI; "Old Soldiers never die, they just fade away". As you already know, I adapted the lyrics to fit in with something I really enjoy doing; being involved with scouting.
The funny thing is I found the song on youtube a while ago and tagged the link to my blog profile. Last night I was feeling a little down on myself and deleted most of my profile and edited the section on "about yourself". I typed in; I'm a nobody and in the interests section I put down that I had none that anyone would care to hear about. Yeah, I know, self pity is like buyer's remorse; once you perceive to have done something seemingly stupid or not, the guilt takes over and you kick yourself a few times. God knows it is something I have gotten good at over the years and it certainly does not help when you are unemployed and feeling lost in the world. I cannot imagine how Douglas MacArthur could have felt like he was fading away when he quoted the song in his farewell address at West Point. Even after his colorful and illustrious larger than life career, he seems to have felt like he was fading away. Maybe the image of ourselves is the last thing to go as age gets the better of us.
I watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" tonight and the same theme seemed to pop out from the screen as the final credits rolled down my TV screen. Whether growing older or getting younger, we still face our own mortality. While growing older presents all the deteriorating side affects of life, I think Benjamin losing his mind and then finding one tiny piece of recognition in the end so ironic. Even though he could not express his fear or loss of a lifetime of memories, he grew old and died like Elizabeth did with few differences and as many regrets. Just goes to show how life is full of little ironies.
Tune and lyrics: based on the old army song;
“Old Soldiers Never Die”- Unknown
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQLd18y0X70
Old Scouters never die
They just get carried away.
There is a cooking fire, not far away
Where we get dutch oven fare, three times a day
Beefsteak they never see, hidden without lock or key
And we just get carried away.
Old scouters never die
Never die, never die
Old scouters never die
They just get carried away.
Cub Scouts they love to cheer, most every day
Boy Scouts they love to hike, that’s what they say
Scout masters get a thrill; lead their boys up the hill
So we must get our thrills until they carry us away.
Baden Powell, what would he say?
New Eagle Scouts every day
When the dusty trail comes to an end
They’ll just fly us away.
Old scouters never die
Never die, never die
Old scouters never die
They just carry them away.
I remember watching the Film "MacArthur" with Gregory Peck some years ago and reading the book "Reminiscences" the autobiography of General Douglas MacArthur. There is a line from the book that quotes an old barracks ballad from WWI; "Old Soldiers never die, they just fade away". As you already know, I adapted the lyrics to fit in with something I really enjoy doing; being involved with scouting.
The funny thing is I found the song on youtube a while ago and tagged the link to my blog profile. Last night I was feeling a little down on myself and deleted most of my profile and edited the section on "about yourself". I typed in; I'm a nobody and in the interests section I put down that I had none that anyone would care to hear about. Yeah, I know, self pity is like buyer's remorse; once you perceive to have done something seemingly stupid or not, the guilt takes over and you kick yourself a few times. God knows it is something I have gotten good at over the years and it certainly does not help when you are unemployed and feeling lost in the world. I cannot imagine how Douglas MacArthur could have felt like he was fading away when he quoted the song in his farewell address at West Point. Even after his colorful and illustrious larger than life career, he seems to have felt like he was fading away. Maybe the image of ourselves is the last thing to go as age gets the better of us.
I watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" tonight and the same theme seemed to pop out from the screen as the final credits rolled down my TV screen. Whether growing older or getting younger, we still face our own mortality. While growing older presents all the deteriorating side affects of life, I think Benjamin losing his mind and then finding one tiny piece of recognition in the end so ironic. Even though he could not express his fear or loss of a lifetime of memories, he grew old and died like Elizabeth did with few differences and as many regrets. Just goes to show how life is full of little ironies.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Ravens Gather
He lies beside a marbled edifice
In deepest repose
Slumbering
Hand, stilled yet ready
As if transfixed by his journey
Once clinging to a staff of life
Now captured in stone.
Which brought him home to immortality?
Frailty of man or sinner’s remorse
While ravens gather
To ravage sight and bone
And scatter ash before the altar
An unknown.
Pilgrim, whose earthly flesh
Gives way to mortal means
By Christ’s cross is saved
To roam the earth no more
Reclines before the tomb’s facade
And speaks no more
A man in need, alone.
A tribute to Felix-Joseph Barrias’ painting:
“Death of a Pilgrim”
The Toledo Museum of Art
Toledo, Ohio 5/13/09
Yesterday I had the opportunity to go along with my son Aaron’s sixth grade class to the Toledo Museum of Art. The assignment for the class was to pick out at least four pieces of art they liked, record the details of what, where, why and make a sketch. I found this to be a particular challenge to myself as I was responsible for chaperoning my son and two of his classmates. A fourth student was absent so I was able to use the extra assignment sheet for my own purposes.
Indeed, it did not take long for me to find a particularly imposing sculpture from Japan that captured my fancy. It was a fierce looking warrior at least eight feet in height and standing poised at the entrance way of an exhibition room. The description of the piece noted the title, “Rishamonten” and that it was missing a spear in the raised right hand and a miniature pagoda in the upturned left. The eyes were fixed in an evil “V” and the mouth set in an angry grin with legs, feet and torso arranged in a manner suggesting a fluid movement like a martial arts “kata”. I can tell you it was hard to miss which is why I am certain it was so strategically placed in the museum.
Further along, I noticed an oil painting by Felix-Joseph Barrias titled: “Death of a Pilgrim”. The first thing I noted was how two ravens stood out in the forefront with two leafless trees and several more birds in flight circling overhead. To the lower left was a structure of stone that resembled a temple or mausoleum. Lower still laid the upper portion of a man whose body was mostly obscured by a stone entrance way. His head was back and one forearm was raised at an angle with its hand limp suggesting he had died in a rather dramatic pose. A walking staff with a gold crucifix at the top leaned at a right angle and leather like pouch lay in the background on the far entrance stone. The scene suggested the end of a journey where the pilgrim had reached a point where he could go on no further and had laid down to rest. It is a scene that begs attention to detail as you might miss the image of the pilgrim all together.
I could not help picturing this scene in my mind and how it reflects life’s journey. Sure, I could have just briefly scanned the painting and moved on, but it drew me in much differently than the warrior in the next room. There was something that said “look a little closer” and it spoke to me. There was a poem here that was leaping from the canvas and I took a few notes as the feelings and words fell over me like a gentle wave of water. Now that you have read the poem and read the story behind it, take a few moments to breath deeply and ponder the image of your life as that of a pilgrim. We all know we are on a journey and that it will end some day, but where do we want it to end? Speaking for myself, I would like to think that I would be found still poised and ready to continue on despite the hardships I found along the way and with the cross of Jesus still in sight. In this painting I am reminded of my own mortality and the fact that faith is what drives me on and will bring me home to the place God has prepared; his mansion in heaven.
In deepest repose
Slumbering
Hand, stilled yet ready
As if transfixed by his journey
Once clinging to a staff of life
Now captured in stone.
Which brought him home to immortality?
Frailty of man or sinner’s remorse
While ravens gather
To ravage sight and bone
And scatter ash before the altar
An unknown.
Pilgrim, whose earthly flesh
Gives way to mortal means
By Christ’s cross is saved
To roam the earth no more
Reclines before the tomb’s facade
And speaks no more
A man in need, alone.
A tribute to Felix-Joseph Barrias’ painting:
“Death of a Pilgrim”
The Toledo Museum of Art
Toledo, Ohio 5/13/09
Yesterday I had the opportunity to go along with my son Aaron’s sixth grade class to the Toledo Museum of Art. The assignment for the class was to pick out at least four pieces of art they liked, record the details of what, where, why and make a sketch. I found this to be a particular challenge to myself as I was responsible for chaperoning my son and two of his classmates. A fourth student was absent so I was able to use the extra assignment sheet for my own purposes.
Indeed, it did not take long for me to find a particularly imposing sculpture from Japan that captured my fancy. It was a fierce looking warrior at least eight feet in height and standing poised at the entrance way of an exhibition room. The description of the piece noted the title, “Rishamonten” and that it was missing a spear in the raised right hand and a miniature pagoda in the upturned left. The eyes were fixed in an evil “V” and the mouth set in an angry grin with legs, feet and torso arranged in a manner suggesting a fluid movement like a martial arts “kata”. I can tell you it was hard to miss which is why I am certain it was so strategically placed in the museum.
Further along, I noticed an oil painting by Felix-Joseph Barrias titled: “Death of a Pilgrim”. The first thing I noted was how two ravens stood out in the forefront with two leafless trees and several more birds in flight circling overhead. To the lower left was a structure of stone that resembled a temple or mausoleum. Lower still laid the upper portion of a man whose body was mostly obscured by a stone entrance way. His head was back and one forearm was raised at an angle with its hand limp suggesting he had died in a rather dramatic pose. A walking staff with a gold crucifix at the top leaned at a right angle and leather like pouch lay in the background on the far entrance stone. The scene suggested the end of a journey where the pilgrim had reached a point where he could go on no further and had laid down to rest. It is a scene that begs attention to detail as you might miss the image of the pilgrim all together.
I could not help picturing this scene in my mind and how it reflects life’s journey. Sure, I could have just briefly scanned the painting and moved on, but it drew me in much differently than the warrior in the next room. There was something that said “look a little closer” and it spoke to me. There was a poem here that was leaping from the canvas and I took a few notes as the feelings and words fell over me like a gentle wave of water. Now that you have read the poem and read the story behind it, take a few moments to breath deeply and ponder the image of your life as that of a pilgrim. We all know we are on a journey and that it will end some day, but where do we want it to end? Speaking for myself, I would like to think that I would be found still poised and ready to continue on despite the hardships I found along the way and with the cross of Jesus still in sight. In this painting I am reminded of my own mortality and the fact that faith is what drives me on and will bring me home to the place God has prepared; his mansion in heaven.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
The Greatest Gift
I have spent considerable time lately thinking about the state of things in the world. It is a kind of journey that began right here in this small town and continues outward. I try so hard not to worry about my own family’s situation; the bills that need paid and the monthly calls from banks and credit card companies wondering why their money is late. All I can say over the phone is “when I have the money, you’ll get yours.” But that does nothing to stop the late fees from accumulating and the debt from piling ever higher. Jobs are scarce and hopes are high that faith will get us through another tough time. It brings me to the brink of screaming sometimes but I cannot let it keep me from the greatest gift of all.
We hear a lot these days in church about giving of our time, talent and treasure in service to others who need ministered to. They may be homeless, hungry or home bound; hopeless, lost or simply in need of a hand to hold on to. For me, in spite of personal struggles, there is a profound need to be useful in a way that mere compensation just does not apply. It goes beyond the self absorbed and secular nature of modern day society. It calls from within to serve. When I can get beyond myself there is a freedom no desire can subdue or worry condemn; it is in knowing a difference has been made despite the cruel conditions of a harsh economic environment or pull of self preservation. And so I say it is not in serving the needs of structure or property, institutions or man made devices that I serve; it is God alone.
And so I pray: Lord, do not let our hearts be troubled. Whatever it is that keeps us from knowing, loving and serving you be plucked from our minds and replaced with the spirit of love for one another. Extinguish the fires of hatred in our enemies, heal the hurts of injustice done by governments or man made policies and let all those who are able serve the needs of their brother and sister. Bring us together by the light of truth that we are all your children; frail, flawed and in need of your presence to show the way home to you. Make the gift of service to one another outweigh any burden that hinders your love from shining through the darkness.
In the end, what will be the legacy of human kind? What great monuments to sacrifice through war and tragedy will be built by future generations? My hope is that the gifts we share today in our giving will far outshine the ill conceived plans of selfish men to oppress and harm the innocent. May the good that we do and the time that we have be a testament to the glory of our creator in heaven. Let the greatest gift of all, joyful service, be our banner as we march onward to victory over death. Amen.
We hear a lot these days in church about giving of our time, talent and treasure in service to others who need ministered to. They may be homeless, hungry or home bound; hopeless, lost or simply in need of a hand to hold on to. For me, in spite of personal struggles, there is a profound need to be useful in a way that mere compensation just does not apply. It goes beyond the self absorbed and secular nature of modern day society. It calls from within to serve. When I can get beyond myself there is a freedom no desire can subdue or worry condemn; it is in knowing a difference has been made despite the cruel conditions of a harsh economic environment or pull of self preservation. And so I say it is not in serving the needs of structure or property, institutions or man made devices that I serve; it is God alone.
And so I pray: Lord, do not let our hearts be troubled. Whatever it is that keeps us from knowing, loving and serving you be plucked from our minds and replaced with the spirit of love for one another. Extinguish the fires of hatred in our enemies, heal the hurts of injustice done by governments or man made policies and let all those who are able serve the needs of their brother and sister. Bring us together by the light of truth that we are all your children; frail, flawed and in need of your presence to show the way home to you. Make the gift of service to one another outweigh any burden that hinders your love from shining through the darkness.
In the end, what will be the legacy of human kind? What great monuments to sacrifice through war and tragedy will be built by future generations? My hope is that the gifts we share today in our giving will far outshine the ill conceived plans of selfish men to oppress and harm the innocent. May the good that we do and the time that we have be a testament to the glory of our creator in heaven. Let the greatest gift of all, joyful service, be our banner as we march onward to victory over death. Amen.
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