October Rose

It came quite by surprise

A single solitary rose

One October day

Fledgling bud

Orphaned

From the growth of thorns

To blossom splendidly fragrant

Through autumn frost

Surviving incorrupt

Reminding

The love of God prevails

In spite of weather

Wind or rain

To emerge

Undaunted

Teaching us all a lesson

To have faith unceasing

Despite hard times

Frantic troubles

Abiding

In something higher than ourselves

Beyond our feeble understanding

In greater things

To ponder

Love.

- D. Wittler 11/4/11



The story behind this poem and photo is real. Times have been tough for me and my family these past weeks. Like many folks we have felt the affects of a down economy and the loss of income. A week or so ago my wife prayed for a sign of hope, and low and behold a rose started to bloom on our rose bush. A single pink rose! In eleven years we have never had a blossom appear this late in the year; and only one!
It has stood several frosty mornings and is still in tact. I went outside tonight and took a picture. It became the inspiration for the poem. God Bless and hope for all.
Keep the faith!

Journal of a Middle Child

Day: 17956

To whom it may concern;

Isn’t it great to know that one seemingly negative thing that you have done can erase all of the positives you have created; that all of the smiles you have shown are wiped away with just one frown? It is the story of my life…

I am sick to death of the game; it is without purpose and it is not fun. It must be the invention of some cruel being that shall remain hidden behind the guise of evil till the end of all we know is upon us and he shall be revealed. What will we see; perhaps ourselves or some once beautiful face corrupted by want, desire and every other form of vile repugnant quest to feed our inner child. From whence does this darkness come?

Some have pondered the origins of the soul; others the nature of man in relation to the natural forces all around him. Still, others have merely existed to feed and work and sleep according to the mandates of a time clock and punch card. What then remains on the final day when labor ceases and one faces the inevitable arm chair and bed pan of old age? He then becomes the work of others who are slaves to the same task master. What a cruel world when all one sees is despair played out like a merry-go-round; it cycles like the moon in phase and rushes shoreward and back in some lunar phenomena. How I pity the stars fixed in an enormous vacuum of space destined to glow and die over countless millennia; their only legacy is but a memory seen from a light year’s distance from earth and beyond. Must I go on? It has been twenty four hours and the tide of energy has turned again to find me here alone once more. It feels like a numbing cold within my brain as I press the keys one finger at a time.

Torn in All Directions

Sorry for the late post my friends, I have not been myself of late and I grow more tired by the month. I'm just not sure if I can keep this up. I am not happy with this short cut style of on-line education that I have taken on through Grand Canyon University. No guarantees that a degree in English literature will bear fruit, but at least I acknowledged the gift God gave me and maybe that is all  I needed to come to terms with in my life. I can say I am wanting to exit gracefully into that good night. If only it were that easy. The best and worst are yet to come, this I know for sure. And so my offering to the writing ghosts that haunt my soul tonight.... may they rest in peace until tomorrow.


Tonight finds this weary soul pushed to the brink of writing by caffeine. My life, so full yet is lacking. What does this mean? Like some impoverished monk I work and serve the causes of family life and the future of boys, all at the peril and sacrifice of the love of my life. When did things get so complicated? I am drowning in the fight to stay afloat and the desire to change the hearts and minds of those so conditioned to single mindedness. Why can’t they see the view from the mountain top like I envision in my heart’s desires? They choose to ignore or by force of habit look straight through me as if I never existed. Am I a renaissance man in modern times or just a soul prepared for the next great leap of faith? I would gladly welcome death today if at once I could take in the entire lineage of my faith and past lives. How I long for that mansion of many rooms in which my heavenly father resides. But alas, I have trails to trod, rivers to bridge and sons to raise, papers to write and some uncertain future to face. What great triumphs, challenges, trials and tribulations wait? Lord only knows my fate. Good night.

Refuge in a Clay Pot

The other night I found myself in a bit of an angry mood over a situation that was out of my control. It does not matter what the issue was about, all that counts is the lesson I learned from it. It all comes down to a simple clay flower pot that I found at work.



I remember cleaning out a resident’s room at the nursing home a week or so earlier and placing a small red clay pot in storage. Now, as the situation I mentioned earlier came upon me, I decided to go to a safe place to vent my anger and take a deep breath. There, in a remote corner of the room sat the clay pot. It was empty and had little hand drawn flowers all around the outside like a child’s school project. I don’t particularly remember what else was laying there besides a picture- less frame and a cork bulletin board when I placed it in storage, but that did not matter as I picked up the pot and considered throwing it across the room.



Pausing for a moment, I felt how fragile it was in my hand and how seemingly easy it might be to just crush it like an aluminum soda can. Then, turning it over I saw the name “Joshua” neatly printed on the bottom. This struck me deeply as I recalled a series of books written by Joseph Girzone, a retired priest, lecturer and author. The “Joshua” books, as I know there are several; bring Christ- like characters into modern day times. There is even a film with the same title that I own at home. During the film, the main character actually reveals himself as Jesus through works of mercy, kindness and the simple tools of a carpenter.



All of a sudden I had forgotten about my anger and actually felt calm. I recall thinking how funny it was that something like a small clay pot had changed me inside. I no longer wanted to destroy it; in fact, I pondered how I could fashion something new with my own two hands like a potter sitting at his wheel. It was as if I held my own heart in my hands and that I could shape or form it into whatever I wished. I knew that my job meant more to me than a pay check and that each day I had the opportunity to make something new or someone feel better. I had the power to be whatever I needed to be at any given moment, employee, father, husband or someone doing a good turn for a stranger.



The key here is “self awareness” or the concept of being in touch with who we are as images of a caring and forgiving creator. Servant leaders like Jesus taught us that we are not the center of the universe, rather, we are components of a larger scheme of interconnected bodies in motion that flow together in harmony. When we turn inward on ourselves and severe that connection, we become lost in self doubt, disillusionment and loneliness. From this experience, I want to become more like that clay pot and become whatever it is that I am needed to be at any given time whether it be a child’s gift to an elderly person or simply a place to put my pens, markers or small tools that I use at work every day. And so, just for today, I seek refuge in a clay pot; in other words, there is more to life than meets the eye.

A Dialogue with Friends

The following is an edited and expanded version of an e-mail I shared with a some of my scout leader firends. I wrote in response to an issue that had stirred up ill feelings among them. My hope is that perhaps others can find some measure of hope and inspiration to change the atmosphere in our world today which has become toxic with fear, hatred and mistrust.


Friends, and I truly mean "Friends,"

We all know that relationships are complicated, especially when personalities clash and feelings are hurt. Many like me are close to a phenomenon called “scouting” because we see the benefit of its teaching of and living according to certain core beliefs and values. To me, the principles of scouting is one of the closest things to an owners manual for raising children, and we all know somebody or family struggling to raise children in whatever circumstances that may exist. You know what they say: "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence", but what we seldom see is the amount of sweat, blood and sometimes tears that go into making the grass green. It is truly a wonder to witness a scout unit begin to blossom with committed leadership and youth who grow up within the framework of the scout oath and law. It is a program that is practically unparalleled in the modern world today.

Parents, leaders and volunteers largely set the example for how to get along with one another, learn and go about living with purpose. If we give up and walk away whenever there is conflict, then what do we teach our children? If we put up an unflinching front whenever there is doubt about what direction we should go and we cannot find common ground, what do we say about ourselves as parents and leaders? I am at the point in my life where passing on the legacy of scouting to future volunteers and leaders has become a mission.

In the beginning of my odyssey as a scout leader, I was not prepared to step up and let the cards fall where may because my youngest son’s den leader moved away. It meant that I had to seek the means to lead by answering a call to serve. Believe me; I suffered my share of growing pains that were caused by the pettiness of adults who dwelt on being stubborn and or controlling and my own sense of unease of becoming a leader. My intention at the outset was to lay as firm a foundation as possible for the boys in my den so that one day they would fly on their own and leave the nest prepared for bigger and better challenges and adventures.

Now that my sons have moved on to the Boy Scout program, I remain a source of reference and support for the Cub Scout pack in which they were a part of for over five years. I have learned through numerous training courses offered through scouting that feedback is the greatest leadership gift and that trust is an essential element in any organization. My advice now is to take this gift and run with it or ignore it and let the future perish. Believe me, negativity is contagious and spreads like a disease and is ripe in society today. This is why I write to you today; to encourage, support and defend a way of life our forefathers knew was the key to freedom and prosperity. We need only learn to live by the principles and values that scouting provides millions of youth, adults and communities every day.

In response to "The Rain"

The following is a response to an e-mail I received from my mom. I don't get down to see the folks much these days because of the busy nature of my life these days, but I wanted to share this with you. Enjoy!
Witt

Hey Mom, thanks for "The Rain." I don't get the chance to talk to family members much when I am working at the nursing home, but there are moments when I get a glimpse of what Joyce sees every day; the long drawn faces, the here today, gone tomorrow eyes of those afflicted with Alzheimers and the restlessness of life grappling for a foothold on the edge.


I am just the guy who does the floors at night or the guy who fixes a leaky toilet or hangs a picture on the wall for a resident from time to time. I get to see what nurses and aides do every day and the faces of those who are suffering the symptoms of whatever ailment has stricken them. I was never a big fan of nursing homes because I always remembered the smells and the signs of the inevitable affects of time when we would go visit grandma. I miss the days when I could stop by her house and just visit for a while.

Some time ago my boss on days at the nursing home gave me the task of attaching side rails to the bed of a woman who was on hospice care. She did not have long to live and her son and daughter were there every day to sit beside her and be there when the time came. I knocked on the door of the room and told them that I was from maintenance with the side rails that had been requested.

The first rail went on without a hitch, but the second one was giving me fits as it was not fitting quite right. After several attempts and the advice of my boss, the rail went into place and immediately the woman lying in the bed took hold of it. I was moved to say the least when I had a moment to process what had just happened.

I remember quite literally lying on the floor beside the bed while attaching the rail to the bed side. I saw the catheter bag half filled, I felt the cool floor beneath my body and I don't recall any unpleasant smell of any kind. I remember the daughter standing there comforting her mother as she was struggling to get out of bed. 'It's OK Mom, lay back and rest," she said several times.

Restlessness is one of the signs that life is ebbing out of a person who is on their death bed. Needless to say, I felt quite humbled afterwards. I even found myself offering a little prayer asking the Lord to help me do this simple task as it was proving to be more difficult than I had originally thought. It was then that the son came over to lend a hand and everything fit into place. It just goes to show that we are all interconnected by a thin veiled string that binds us to a world that is as fragile as life itself. I think that if more people took the time to show a little more concern for others what a better place this world would be. It does not have to be any great feat of heroism or act of courage, just a helping hand or a kind word will do.

To close, I want to share a couple of poems:



Calling

You call my name

long after it has been forgotten

by all who say they love me.

You touch me

at the core of my being

while others have left,

believing there is nothing there.

You breathe love

into the vessel of my heart

and fill it with warmth and tenderness

even as others take from me,

my last gasping breath.

You hold me

in a sacred space

honoring me for who I am

while others honor me

for who they want me to be.

You call my name

and I am moved to tears,

because I too had forgotten

                     - Daniel H. Kim



Death Bed Meditiation

All I really know about life I can say

in a few lines:

In April the small green things

will rise through the black Iowa soil

wether we're ready or not.

The Carolina wren will make her nest

in the little redwood house

my son built from a kit.

Daffodils, tulips, irises will get the attention as usual

while purslane, pig weed, lambs quarters

will quietly take over a place

while no one is watching.

In June the corn shoots

will etch long green lines

across the dark loamy fields

and the greenest of all green grasses

will crowd into the ditches and line the roads.

In August the early bloomers

begin to burn themselves out,

but in September the late yellows appear,

luring the bumblebees and yellow jackets

into a frenzy of pollination.

You already know about October,

the color, the last burst of extravagant life.

And then all at once it seems

everything retreats, pulls in to itself, rests,

and prepares for the inevitable resurrection.


                                   - James Autry

I know this is an incredibly long e-mail, but the moment struck me with the arrival of a note from someone I care about so now I pass on a note so that perhaps you may do the same. The more people we care about, the more the world changes for the better. Please pass the word.

Thank You!

As I Ponder the Destination

    I am not ashamed to say I believe in the power of prayer or the God who saves. I pass on this message because I truly care and believe that our nation is being insidiously invaded from within. The communists of the Soviet Union outnumbered us with tanks, guns and troops and we still defeated them. The Nazis were well on their way to defeating Europe until we came along. The slave owners nearly tore us apart until the will of a praying man kept us together. The proof goes back to our founding that "With God all things are possible." Let us be true to that calling and pray like the lives of our children depend on it, which it really does. It is a time for spiritual warfare.




     I do not advocate the burning of books, whatever they might infer or suggest because I know that even the Good Book can have its message twisted to serve whatever means man wishes to use against his fellow man. I do not advocate the harassment of innocent people because of what they choose to wear as a symbol of their faith and I certainly do not pray for harm to come to people who choose freely the idea of liberty and come to the home of the free and the land of the brave. It is in and through these things that led the poor, the tired, the homeless and the restless refuge of the world to seek opportunity in a place to claim as their own and a chance to prosper through hard work, determination and in the hope in their children’s future prosperity. I can say I share in the words of a man who stood at the chiseled image of a martyred leader who came to terms with his humanity and declared the captives free in spite of the suffering and death caused through conflict.



     I believe in honor, dignity and the struggle to find personal integrity when all around is temptation, greed and the notion that no one individual can save the world for I know that it is true with God through the sacrifice of his only son. In fact, we are asked each day of our lives to put these very things in peril every time we dare to say a simple prayer in the name of Jesus Christ. Each time I ponder the image of a stranger standing beside the path to Jerusalem knowing full well the fate that awaits, I shudder to think what a weaker human being would have chosen if it had been any other than Christ himself. I wonder today my own destination and the path which leads to death and eternal life all at the same moment in time. What an awesome challenge to rise from slumber each morning and to know there is a way, truth and life in communion with a God who gives so much. May he make you consider your way and to change whatever lurks in the dark recesses of your soul that leads you astray. Amen.