Blue Skies, and Rain

A few thoughts: Like me, a work in progress as always.
           Another Shade of Blue
Through a long winter night I wondered
Would it matter
If I longed to tell you all the things I wanted to reveal to you, and didn't?
Would it matter if I said I loved you so much more than before
Even though it seemed a million miles came between us?
My blue skies turned to grey
The day I left you
But all I knew then
Was that the world can change
Even though you never intentioned it
But sometimes choices get made
In spite of all you have done
And left unfulfilled
Like  pouring rain into a leaky bucket
It never reaches the brink of no return
Spilling over in waves of unrelenting love.
Rather, life just remains
And sorrow turns another shade of blue.
For years I listened
Gave answers to questions I never knew the answers to
But said what others expected to hear
I went along as I always did
Like walking camouflage
An outcast kid trying desperately to fit in
To a world that I did not understand
Yet wanted so much to be a part of
 Just to ease my solitude
But all I found was ineptitude
And life turned another shade of blue.
So here I am
Trying to put broken pieces
Back together again
Hoping you will understand
The odd man out in a crowded room
Becomes an enigma
Even social conveyance cannot  change
I am simply who I am
Another shade of blue.

D.A. Wittler 2/11/19